Military Suicide: Help for Families Worried About Their Service Member

By Alexandra Sifferlin

In this week’s TIME cover story, “One a Day” (available to subscribers here), journalists Mark Thompson and Nancy Gibbs explore why suicides among the U.S. military have reached crisis levels. Every day, one active-duty service member dies by his own hand, the authors note: “The U.S. military seldom meets an enemy it cannot target, cannot crush, cannot put a fence around or drive a tank across. But it has not been ale to defeat or contain the epidemic of suicides among its troops.”

The specific triggers for suicide are unique to each soldier. Each person deals differently with the stresses of war, frequent deployments, separation from family, death of comrades. Many contend with depression and post-traumatic stress upon returning home. There are several programs and support lines for these soldiers, but it also helps for their immediate families to remain vigilant and to monitor their behavior. Even still, many service members fall through the cracks.

Below is what we hope is helpful advice for military spouses, who want to know what warning signs to look for in their service member and how best to handle severe situations. One immediate sign, say experts, is a pervasive sense of uselessness, a feeling that they no longer belong. “What we learn from our families [who lost service family members to suicide] and what they saw in their loved ones, is behavior [in which they] pulled back and felt they were not able to be a useful part of unit that relied on them,” says Bonnie Carroll, founder and chairman of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, or TAPS, a non-profit that supports those who have lost a loved one in the military. “These men and women need to know they are still a part of a unit at home and overseas.”

Here, experts offer more answers to common questions that military families face when a loved one shows signs of trouble:

What are the signs of suicide risk to look out for?
There are many signs of suicide, says Kim Ruocco, director of the suicide prevention programs at TAPS. Some key warning signs to look out for:

• Hopelessness and saying things like “This will never get better”
• Helplessness and saying things like “I can’t do anything about this”
• No longer finding joy in things they once enjoyed
• Angry outbursts and increased agitation
• Sleeplessness or oversleeping
• Lack of appetite or increased appetite
• Withdrawal from friends and family, or suggestions that family would be better off without them
• History of suicide attempt and history of depression
• Post-traumatic injury

Warning signs of suicide that call for immediate attention:

• Talking about or making plans to take his or her own life
• Putting personal affairs in order
• Giving away personal possessions
• Obsessing about death
• Abusing drugs or alcohol
• Acquiring or obtaining access to lethal means (prescription drugs, weapons, etc.)
• Engaging in out-of-the-ordinary or risky behaviors

“You should always ask someone if they are thinking of killing themselves and if they are, do not leave them alone, escort them to help, take them to a doctor at primary care, behavioral health or the emergency room,” says Ruocco. “Sometimes a person will deny thinking of suicide despite warning signs. These people should also be considered high risk and be taken for immediate evaluation.”

Whom should I contact if I’m concerned about my loved one?
The first person to speak with is your loved one. Ask your he or she is feeling, says Eileen M. Lainez, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Department of Defense. For example: Do you feel as if you could harm yourself? How often are you having those kinds of thoughts? Do you have a plan to harm yourself?

“Keep track of all conversations with a service member who expresses any indication that he or she could harm him or herself, or is experiencing unique or intense stressors,” says Lainez.

There are several 24/7 service lines open to family members who have immediate concerns:

• Military Crisis Line: Dial 800-273-8255 (press 1 for military) or visit the crisis line online, which provides a chat and text service for veterans (see below) and active duty members
• Veterans Crisis Line: Visit Veterans Live Chat or call 800-273-TALK to talk with a crisis counselor
• DCoE Outreach Center: Visit Real Warriors Live Chat or call 866-966-1020 to talk with a health resource consultant
• Military OneSource: Call 800-342-9647 for one-on-one counseling or visit online
• Do not hesitate to call 911 in an emergency

Should I alert the military if my loved one is showing signs of suicide at home?
Anyone concerned about a service member for any reason should not hesitate to contact that service member’s supervisor, commander, any health-care provider or a chaplain. “If the family member is looking for behavioral health support, information or resources, they should contact [these individuals]. The earlier an adjustment or behavioral health issue is identified and addressed, the more likely a positive outcome will result,” says Lainez.

Is there anything I shouldn’t do?
Don’t be afraid to be proactive: Ask your loved one questions about suicidal thoughts or plans, and do not hesitate to get help. “Suicidal thoughts can be a medical emergency. Someone who has been thinking about suicide over time can lose the ability to control the impulse. Put aside fears of betraying your loved one or ruining his [or her] career and chose to save his [or her] life,” says Ruocco.

Should I be more concerned if my loved one has been overseas for several tours, or less concerned if he or she hasn’t?
There are many factors associated with suicide, which make it difficult to point to any one factor as a root cause. Currently, there is no evidence directly linking the number of deployments to an increased risk of suicide. Any warning signs of suicide should be taken seriously, regardless of the number of times the service member has been deployed overseas.

“Combat exposure can increase risk for suicide, especially if the service member was exposed to trauma or suffered a concussive injury,” says Ruocco. “However, about half of our service members who die by suicide have never deployed, so the fact that they have not deployed should not be a reason to not seek treatment.” The 2010 Department of Defense Suicide Event Report found that indeed half of all service members who died by suicide during 2010 had never been deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan.

What can I do to support my soldier and help prevent suicide risk?
Real Warriors, a campaign started by the Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury (DCoE) to promote recovery and resilience among returning service members, suggests that you encourage and help your loved one do the following:

• Cut back on obligations when possible and set reasonable schedules for goals
• Consider keeping a journal to express pain, anger, fear or other emotions
• Avoid isolation — get together with buddies, commanding officers, family, friends or other members of the community regularly
• Stay physically fit by eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep
• Stay motivated by keeping personal and career goals in mind
• Use relaxation techniques to help manage stress
• Stay organized by keeping a daily schedule of tasks and activities

There are plenty of mental-health resources out there, but here are a few we highly recommended for service members and their families:

• U.S. National Suicide & Crisis Hotlines: http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html
• U.S. Army Suicide Prevention: http://www.armyg1.army.mil/hr/suicide/
• Real Warriors suicide prevention: http://www.realwarriors.net/family/support/preventsuicide.php
• U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs suicide prevention: http://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention/
• Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, for families who have lost a loved one in uniform to suicide: http://www.taps.org/survivors/survivor.aspx?id=6320

Read the full TIME cover story, available to subscribers here.

Battling BARE

Found this on Facebook from a group called Battling BARE . I think it is great that people are becoming more attentive towards our soldiers and the invisible wounds they suffer from.

 

Broken by battle,
Wounded by war,
My love is FOREVER.....
To this I Swore,
I will quiet your silent screams,
... Help heal shattered souls, Until once again MY LOVE,
You are Whole.......
 

 

On another note I have been receiving some great e-mails from friends throughout the community on my educational and professional endeavors and I just want to thank you all for all the support and encouragement each of you give me. Trust is something that veterans do not give very lightly because it is something that is earned through sharing hardships and building a bond that is forever. Somehow I think that the VA has forgotten this. Trust is what I am going to bring to my community of Veterans here in Boise. Trust that someone cares and someone really wants to see them get better.

 

I was talking with a real good friend of mine this weekend and he brought up a great point about the need to communicate and I began to think about how Veterans who may have never met before can meet for the first time and just start talking. I think it is great and I enjoy every person that I meet and try and encourage and support wellness.

 

Although times are trying for some do not forget that you have a friend here in the Gem state that is willing to listen to you.

 

 

WRAP for Veterans and People in the Military

The process of recovery begins with you, but you don't have to do it alone!!!

I am currently attending a program that will certify me to conduct the Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) for veterans I serve.

If you are on active duty, in the reserves, or have been in the military, you may be having a hard time coping with the hardship, trauma, and loss related to military service and being involved in war-related activities. You may have feelings and experiences that are extremely upsetting, feelings that keep you from being the way you want to be and doing the things you want to do. In addition, things may be happening in your life that are difficult to deal with. Family members and friends, who don’t understand what you are experiencing and why you are behaving the way you are, may not know how to respond or how to help. Some may try to help and others may turn away. You may feel like the situation is hopeless - that you will never feel well and enjoy life again.
The Wellness Recovery Action Plan can help you in the process of recovery, of getting well and staying well, and of assisting you in becoming who you want to be and making your life the way you want it. It will also be helpful to you in adapting to any challenges you have in your life like chronic illness, serious disability, being on active duty, or dealing with extreme loss or grief.

This online version of the Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) is specifically oriented for people who are in the military or have been in the military. There are video clips with Mary Ellen Copeland talking to veterans as they are developing their WRAPs. This WRAP is private and can be accessed at any time. You can make changes to it whenever you want and e-mail it to anyone you choose. WRAP can help with coordinating daily living as well as larger issued like depression and PTSD. This version of WRAP is very convenient for military personnel and is friendly, easy, and empowering. https://wrap.essentiallearning.com/Default.aspx?ReturnUrl=%2f

After my certification I hope to begin providing classes specifically for veterans in Idaho that will help them develop a personal WRAP as well help them start down the road of recovery.

Call me at Riverside Rehab, Inc. (208) 853-8536 and I will help you with your WRAP in my veteran services department.

Did you know that:

• More than 42 million American men and women have served in a time of war
• Current Projected U.S. Veterans Population: 23,442,000
• There are between 529,000 and 840,000 veterans who are homeless at some time during the year, that’s 23% of the homeless population
• 89% of homeless veterans received Honorable Discharges
• 33% of homeless veterans served in a war zone
• Each year between 375,000 – 600,000 homeless veterans receive no assistance
• 6 million veterans are living with a disability
• 45% of veterans need help finding a job
• 37% of veterans need help finding housing
• Number of Veterans with for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (as of 09/30/08): 342,624

IF you dream it WILL they come?

In an effort to continue to serve my fellow veterans I have been afforded an opportunity that I do not think many veterans or people in general get.
I have been offered the opportunity to open a department at the company I work for Riverside Rehab., http://www.riversiderehab.net/ that deals directly with veterans and links them to community resources such as housing, health care, employment assistance, financial resources and advocacy. The primary purpose is to prevent homelessness, hospitilization, or incarceration.
Most importantly it will bridge the gap between the VA and the veterans home since I can see the veteran every week for regular sessions. I can contuing to supplement the care that the VA is able to provide. With such things as Reduced Rate Counseling, Medications Managment, Finanacial / Payee Services and Targeted Service Coordination.

I am excited about taking on this endevor and I am also hestitent because I have never attempted something like this before. But if I have learned one thing from the military it is to "never quit" and to "never leave a fallen commrade". I hope that I can help my fellow warriors, as well, as make this a success venture.

Military instructor suspended over Islam course

WASHINGTON | Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:58am EDT

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The instructor of a college course that taught top military officers the United States was at war with Islam has been relieved of teaching duties and the course ordered redesigned to reflect U.S. policy, a military spokesman said on Wednesday.

The elective course at the National Defense University's Joint Forces Staff College included a slide that asserted "the United States is at war with Islam and we ought to just recognize that we are war with Islam," Pentagon officials said in April as they launched a review of the course.

Colonel David Lapan, a spokesman for the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said on Wednesday a review of the course found that "institutional failures and in oversight and judgment" led to the course being modified over time in a way "that portrayed Islam almost entirely in a negative way."

"The inquiry recommends the course be redesigned to include aspects of U.S. policy and reduce its reliance on external instruction," Lapan said in a statement. It also recommended improving oversight of course curricula.

"The elective course's military instructor has been relieved of his instructor duties until his permanent change of station, which was previously planned for 2012," Lapan said.

The inquiry also recommended a review of actions by two civilian employees of the staff college to see if disciplinary action was warranted. A second military officer will receive administrative counseling, Lapan said.

General Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, ordered the review of the course on Islam and military education in general after a soldier complained about the content of the course entitled "Perspectives on Islam and Islamite Radicalism" at the Joint Forces Staff College in Norfolk, Virginia.

Navy Captain John Kirby, a Pentagon spokesman, said in April that Defense Secretary Leon Panetta was deeply concerned about some of the materials being taught in the course, such as the slide suggesting the United States was at war with Islam.

"That's not at all what we believe to be the case. We're at war against terrorism, specifically al Qaeda, who has a warped view of the Islamic faith," Kirby said.

Discovery of the course material embarrassed the military at a time when U.S. officials were trying to mend U.S. ties with the Muslim world following a spate of incidents in Afghanistan, including the burning of copies of the Koran and pictures showing U.S. soldiers posing with corpses of Afghans. (Reporting by David Alexander; Editing by Vicki Allen)

“Walk a mile in my shoes” Part III

The primary reason voiced by many of the veterans for not using the services provided was because they felt like a number. There are many barriers that prevent veterans from seeking services; I break this down to one thing “trust”. If the VA is dragging its feet to help a veteran than a level of trust has been compromised. In many circumstances a veteran finds it had to talk to advocates, doctors, or therapists because there is a level of trust that is hard to give up. The trust that they will not be judged or ridiculed for their actions or inactions and when a veteran finally opens up to talk about the problem the VA statistically does not immediately follow through with mental health services. This is seen as a breach of trust to the veteran because he is entrusting the system he defended to defend and help him. Many homeless veterans I spoke too suffered from depression, anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders and some of the younger ones from Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) suffered from explosions in Iraq or Afghanistan.

The homeless veterans in Boise have been the focus of many organizations around the treasure valley. Deseret Industry a local company in Boise offer employment opportunities as well furniture and home essentials for those that find housing. Ed Cowley the resident manager at River of Life is full of success stories one of veteran whose love of fishing and intimate knowledge of the local fishing spots landed him a job as a consultant to the Fish and Game department.

Although the homeless veteran population is smaller than the larger homeless population I firmly believe that it is a part of our society that we should be focused on. Veterans have served our country by fighting its wars on foreign soils, spending many months away from loved one, many including myself sacrificing our families and marriages because of being deployed so long our family forgets who we are and the separation becomes unbearable. This immersion allowed me to be around veterans who made me feel proud because they are proud of their service. Their only shame was the situation they had found themselves in.

“Walk a mile in my shoes” Part II

The second part to my last article....

Part II

            I met up with a man at the shelter named Nick (not his real name) on the morning of May 17, 2012 and he washed his face and we left. We would cover roughly a four block area near the shelter but far enough away that we could find prime real estate for our signs.

We started with a sign at the corner of South 13^th Street and I-84. This busy street bring commuters into work every morning and since it is a one way street directly into downtown it was his best shot at getting noticed and making a few dollars. I must tell you that I did not have a sign nor did I accept any money from people throughout this immersion project and as I explained to Nick I simply wanted a firsthand look into his life.

            The first thing I noticed during our two hours on the street corner was that people do not like to make eye contact. They will briefly look at you and them they will quickly look away, the people that did give Nick money would usually be older people. I sat with Nick and asked him how much he makes on a daily basis and he told me around $25.00 but that was enough for him to get a pack of cigarettes and a couple beers. I asked about food, I have always heard that if you want to give a homeless person something buy them food but never give them cash because they will only buy drugs or alcohol with it. While this is true for many homeless people it is not always the case. Nick told me if he made enough money he would get a hotel room and stay the night there. As he put “I will live like a normal person for a night with a hot shower and TV.”

While standing there with Nick I noticed a man pushing a cart with a dog attached to it and he was headed to us. The man stopped and Nick looked at me and said it was time to go, I thought we were in trouble so I asked why and he explained that his time on the corner was up and it was this other guy’s turn. I could not believe it they had a system in place that afforded others a chance to use these prime areas to panhandle. As we walked away Nick turned and gave the old man $10 and told me that “he needs it more than me, he is old and people don’t give him too much”. Even when people are down there is still compassion and those who are trudging through these hard times seem to understand this more than those of us who are better off financially.

              We left and headed towards the Boise Green Belt located south of the Mission because it was lunch time and Nick and I were hungry. I learned from him that you can usually get food the Food Pantry at the Salvation Army; they will usually give you a bag of chips and a sandwich for lunch. So we ate and then headed back into town by this time it was after 12:00 and I had spent the better part of the morning really hoping that my friends would not see me or a police officer would not stop to see what we were up too, even though I knew this was a possibility. I was still really embarrassed and kept telling myself that I was retired after a long successful career in the military and I was going to school to help those who could not help themselves. I felt bad for feeling this way and I began to understand why people are embarrassed when they suffer financially. It is hard to look into complete strangers eyes and ask them to give up a few dollars that they have worked hard to earn.

As I spent the rest of the day with Nick I learned that there is a code of ethics among many of the homeless and they will try and take care of each other whether that be in the form of protection from the many kids who like to harass them, passing money to the next guy for a meal passing on information about establishments that are providing food or other necessities. When I went home I was thankful for the experience and I knew that I would never want to be in that situation but I was also happy to know that even in extreme circumstances people are able to band together and form a society within a society to survive.

            “For the Department of Veterans’ Affairs, the President has a budget of $112.8 billion for FY 2010, increasing 15% from 2009.  The Department of Veterans Affairs also boasts that its homeless assistance programs constitute the largest integrated network of services in the United States.  Veterans’ Affairs budget allocates $3.222 billion to combating homelessness (Department of Veterans Affairs). The National Coalition for Homeless Veterans says that of the 400,000 homeless veterans on the street any given night, the Department of Veterans Affairs reaches only about 25% of them.” (National Coalition for the Homeless, 2009) This is a realistic figure of the 20 veterans I spoke to only about a quarter of them used the services the Veterans Affairs Hospital (VA) in Boise.